Linda Stankard

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"Let's face it: Parents should come with an instruction booklet," Sarah O'Leary Burningham tells teens. "Without instructions how are you supposed to know what makes them tick and what buttons will totally set them off?" In How to Raise Your Parents: A Teen Girl's Survival Guide, Burningham reveals the most effective techniques for understanding adults, handling professional worriers (i.e. parents), maneuvering around them and coming out a winner in the independence game.

Inspired by her own power struggle with parents when she was 16, Burningham interviewed hundreds of teens and parents of teens, and she delivers straight-talk in a funny and fun-to-read format. Dishing out loads of advice on coping with typical teen stressors like curfew, grades, dating, driving and money, she doesn't shy away from tackling touchier subjects either—like body piercings, tattoos and sexual identity. "When your parents were teenagers," Burningham points out, "they used typewriters and kept a bottle of Wite-Out at their desks. Can you imagine life with no backspace, no spell-check, no Google?" Learning to soothe parental fear is essential for gaining the freedoms you want, she notes, so letting parents into your world a little can help. For instance, say you love being on MySpace and you're savvy about keeping personal details offline, but your parents are still skeptical (OK, freaking) about it—Burningham suggests letting them see your profile "and maybe even letting them see a blog entry or two" to calm their concerns. After all, worrying about you "is part of their job description," and that is one thing you won't be able to change.

Armed with How to Raise Your Parents, teens will have the inside track on effective strategies for communicating, negotiating and compromising their way to the freedoms and privileges they're after—skills that will come in handy whether they want their own cell phone, a new hair color or a set of car keys!

"Let's face it: Parents should come with an instruction booklet," Sarah O'Leary Burningham tells teens. "Without instructions how are you supposed to know what makes them tick and what buttons will totally set them off?" In How to Raise Your Parents: A Teen Girl's Survival Guide, Burningham reveals the most effective techniques for understanding adults, […]
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Charles Dickens would be appalled to learn that the dark corners of cruelty to defenseless children that his novels exposed back in the 19th century still lurk behind the glitz and glamour of the 21st. In Hope's Boy, a work of nonfiction, Andrew Bridge recounts his agonizing stay at "an immense, asylumlike facility" in Los Angeles where he is taken after being whisked away from his mother, frightened and alone, at age seven.

Bridge describes MacLaren Hall as a place "where otherwise ordinary activities . . . became grotesque events. . . . For bathing, after we stripped, staff marched us naked through MacLaren's corridors to its central showers and tubs, where boys of varying ages grabbed at one another as staff looked on and laughed. For discipline, being sent to a corner meant staying there for hours. Being told to go to your room was replaced with being locked in a basement." (Embroiled in lawsuits, MacLaren was finally shut down in 2003.)

Bridge's Dickensian saga continues when he is placed with a family that offers little guidance and no real affection. He remains there, largely forgotten, until he "ages out" of foster care at 18. That he is able to outlast his fears in "a silent race to sunlight," secure a scholarship to Wesleyan, graduate from Harvard Law School and become a champion of children still lost in the system, is nothing less than remarkable, but one success story does not a good system make. "As when I was a child," he observes, "foster care largely remains a world of young mothers and frightened children. Ask about their lives, and their grief fills the air. Mothers speak of wrenching loss, and children speak of unyielding loneliness." Bridge writes with honesty and tenderness of his own mother, a woman whose mental decline forces their separation, but who nevertheless taught him "what was right and what was wrong, what was sane and what was crazy, what was love and what was not." He clings to her memory, to the hope of her return, and to the name he knows her by—not "Priscilla," as his case workers refer to her, but the name forever in his heart, "Hope."

Luckily for the 500,000 children in foster care today, Bridge has dedicated his adult life to changing the system. Barely out of law school, Bridge was sent to Eufala, Alabama, to investigate an adolescent center where isolation cells were used to punish children. "Children sat on a mud-covered concrete floor," he writes. "Begging to be released, they banged against the cinderblock walls, leaving behind hand and footprint smears, red from Alabama's clay soil." Files and depositions revealed that two boys, David Dolihite (15) and Eddie Weidinger (14), who had attempted suicide, had both been kept in one of these cells for more than a week. When Eddie found David hanging from his shoelaces, he tried to save him by chewing through the knot. David lived but was severely brain damaged. Both boys, Bridge finds, had come to the conclusion in their young lives that "no more hope was left to borrow from the future." Bridge later became the CEO and general counsel of the Alliance for Children's Rights, and, following the disappearance and death of hundreds of foster children, he chaired a task force investigating the safety and well-being of children in Los Angeles County's care. In 2002, his continued efforts allowed more children to stay with their families and still qualify for federal child welfare assistance. Bridge is also a founding director of New Village, which opened in 2006 to help children in foster care and the delinquency system prepare for college or skilled employment.

Hope's boy made a success of his life, and now gives hope to others, helping them make a success of theirs. For a tale well told, and the courage and dignity to tell it without bitterness, for a message ultimately of hope, Dickens would be proud.

Linda Stankard writes from Piermont, New York, with hope in her heart.

Charles Dickens would be appalled to learn that the dark corners of cruelty to defenseless children that his novels exposed back in the 19th century still lurk behind the glitz and glamour of the 21st. In Hope's Boy, a work of nonfiction, Andrew Bridge recounts his agonizing stay at "an immense, asylumlike facility" in Los […]
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Choosing Happiness: Life and Soul Essentials by Stephanie Dowrick has a title that implies a premise that runs through all four books: that happiness is a choice, not something to merely be hoped for, stumbled upon or given to a lucky few. In fact, no one can give you happiness, Dowrick asserts. People, situations, events outside yourself will affect you, but ultimately, you are responsible for your own happiness. A former psychotherapist and a spiritual retreat and workshop leader, Dowrick explains that by making choices that are right for you and your values, happiness becomes more a way of living that can also . . . . encompass the times when things do not go right or well. She ends each of her seven chapters with a summary section, listing Essential Insights and Essential Actions, such as these from chapter four, Building Self-Respect: Insight Self-respect and respect for others live back to back. What's more, self-respect brings peace of mind, as well as happiness. Action Encourage yourself as you would a good friend. Focus on your strengths. She divides each chapter into brief segments with subtitles such as Workplace Values, The ”Too Busy' Excuse, and Better Than Fighting which make it easy to dip back in for a quick refresher on a particular topic. You'll be glad this book is in your knapsack as you explore the many hills and valleys of the happiness trail.

IT'S NEVER TOO LATE TO START
Dowrick would undoubtedly concur with author and PBS personality Loretta LaRoche, who writes early on in Kick Up Your Heels . . . Before You're Too Short to Wear Them that in order to thrive we need to increase our spiritual path by learning to forgive the past, love the present, and create a future that resonates with our deepest values. LaRoche's book focuses on how to age with gusto, or as her subtitle puts it, how to live a long, healthy, juicy life. She cites many role models of juicy living such as Lily Tomlin, who at age 61 was doing a two-hour, one-woman show on Broadway portraying a dozen characters in a demanding act of physicality and stamina, and other actors, writers, physicians, etc., who dive into new projects with passion and enormous curiosity. If you want to wind up dried up, however, LaRoche wryly offers numerous Ways to Wither : Don't sit down to eat. Walk around the house or office while you multitask. Leave the cell phone on at every meal as if you were a trauma surgeon. Staying vibrant requires other choices and LaRoche supplies plenty of Juicy Tidbits of advice. Get lots of massages, she urges. It's a great way to get touched without having to do anything but lie there and enjoy yourself. Or simply watch some fun, sexy movies starring juicy older men and women. Aging beats the alternative, and while You can't stop the inevitable . . . you can reinvent yourself in many ways. With warmth and humor, LaRoche helps light the happiness trail past the 50-year demarcation line.

WHERE THE HAPPY FOLKS ARE
In The Geography of Bliss: One Grump's Search for the Happiest Places in the World, NPR correspondent Eric Weiner shares his experiences and insights as he traverses the globe on a quest for a people exhibiting signs of contentment, peace, serenity . . . in other words, happiness. Although a self-proclaimed grump (note the coincidental irony in the pronunciation of his last name) Weiner's writing is rich with deadpan humor: "Clearly, some words can elicit instant joy. Words like 'I love you' and 'you may already be a winner.' Yet other words 'audit' and 'prostate exam,' " he notices, "clearly have the opposite effect."

As he ventures from places like Bhutan, where "Happiness is other people," to less enchanting nations like Moldova, where unfortunately for its inhabitants, "Happiness is somewhere else," Weiner also comes to the conclusion that happiness is a choice. Despite living in a brutal climate and utter isolation he finds Iceland to be a delightfully quirky little nation where everything wise and wonderful about it flows from its language. "When they greet each other, Icelanders say komdu soell, which translates literally as 'come happy.' When Icelanders part, they say vertu soell, go happy. They could have faced the terrible dark and easily chosen despair and drunkenness," he writes with his characteristic comic flair, "but these sons and daughters of Vikings peered into the unyielding blackness of the noon sky and chose another option: happiness and drunkenness. It is, I think, the wiser option." As you settle down for the night along the trail, The Geography of Bliss will be a joy to pull from your knapsack.

GO IN GOOD SPIRITS
Designed like a workbook, the Field Guide to Happiness: Finding Happiness in its Natural Habitat by Barbara Ann Kipfer, Ph.D., will help light your way as you learn to write your way to a happier state of being. Kipfer, who listed 14,000 Things to Be Happy About in a previous book, explains in her introduction that by noting the things that make you happy and setting yourself on a course to ”choose' happiness you can virtually re-script the plot of your life. Her book offers more than 200 suggestions for creating lists, journals, diaries, memory books, and/or mind maps such as Make a List of What You Have Endured in Life That Has Made You Wise, or writing a journal entry about things that make you laugh. Completing even a few of these exercises should make you feel grateful for all you have to be happy for and lift even the most downtrodden spirit. So grab your knapsack, head for the bookstore and happy trails to you!

Choosing Happiness: Life and Soul Essentials by Stephanie Dowrick has a title that implies a premise that runs through all four books: that happiness is a choice, not something to merely be hoped for, stumbled upon or given to a lucky few. In fact, no one can give you happiness, Dowrick asserts. People, situations, events […]
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The author of six novels and two short story collections, Mary Gordon has again integrated her unflinching, fiercely honest prose style with elements of biography and memoir, (as she did to much acclaim in The Shadow Man: A Daughter's Search for Her Father) to create a multidimensional portrait, this time of her mother, Anna Gagliano Gordon.

In Circling My Mother, she writes interwoven chapters about her mother's life in different circles: her mother and female friends, her mother's association with Catholic priest friends, with her father, and her mother and family, particularly her sisters. "The Gagliano girls," Gordon laments in discussing her mother and aunts, ". . . should have come to better ends." Certainly her mother's end is bitterly long and cruel alcoholism, followed by the slow, irretrievable loss of connections, the isolation of a deepening dementia her last, oblivious years spent in a nursing home. "In the end, she couldn't even remember the songs she had loved, or the movies she had seen. She didn't even remember my name. But our ends are not the summation of our lives."

As Gordon circles back through her mother's history, the life that emerges is one of a brave, proud woman, who, despite being crippled from childhood polio, began working at 17. It is the story of a widow, of a struggling single mother, bringing the great world . . . a place she vaguely apprehended to her only daughter through music (songs like "Getting to Know You" and "Lullaby of Broadway"), movies they both loved (Gigi, It Happened One Night, Love in the Afternoon) and her ability to dream things her family wouldn't have dreamed of dreaming.

Her mother's passing may have been long and painful, but by having the courage to write Circling My Mother, her daughter allows us to see Anna Gagliano Gordon as beautifully alive and vibrant, a source of inspiration and encouragement to a successful author-daughter, ultimately turning a frayed ending into a full circle.

The author of six novels and two short story collections, Mary Gordon has again integrated her unflinching, fiercely honest prose style with elements of biography and memoir, (as she did to much acclaim in The Shadow Man: A Daughter's Search for Her Father) to create a multidimensional portrait, this time of her mother, Anna Gagliano […]
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"Under all is the land." This is the first tenet learned in real estate courses, but it could also serve as a fitting adage for the flyleaf of Silas House's latest novel, The Coal Tattoo, set in his beloved (and native) eastern Kentucky hill country near the fictitious Altamont mine. The coal mines have always been double-edged swords: they provide a means of livelihood, yet also claim many lives. Likewise, a coal tattoo, the "faint little hint of blue" sometimes left beneath the skin of a person who has survived the collapse of a mine, also has conflicting interpretations most see it as a sign of survival, but for others it is a mark of sacrifice.

A prequel to his well-received first novel, Clay's Quilt, The Coal Tattoo brings us into the early lives of the Sizemore sisters, Easter and Anneth, who have lost both father and mother to the mines. The girls are raised by their grandmothers but grow up profoundly different. As Easter understates it, "Not all sisters are just alike," and their temperaments drive them down divergent paths.

Easter leads a simple, peaceful life. She imagines that people whizzing past on the new highway would look at her small town and "be thankful that they themselves lived in places where there were fancy restaurants and tall buildings and jobs that you had to get dressed up for," but her life does not "feel little at all to her."

Anneth, on the other hand, rushes toward new experiences and at 16 runs off to Nashville with a musician. Her erratic and impious behavior continues to drive a wedge between her and her devoutly Pentecostal sister, but commonalities emerge a love of music, loyalty to family and friends, and a fierce devotion to their small corner of the world. When strip-mining threatens to ruin the mountain behind their home, the sisters unite against formidable adversaries.

House's beautiful third novel is both a story of survival and sacrifice and a stirring testament to the love of the land.

 

Linda Stankard writes from Nanuet, New York.

"Under all is the land." This is the first tenet learned in real estate courses, but it could also serve as a fitting adage for the flyleaf of Silas House's latest novel, The Coal Tattoo, set in his beloved (and native) eastern Kentucky hill country near the fictitious Altamont mine. The coal mines have always […]
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It’s Valentine’s Day again, and men and women alike are measuring their relationships (or lack thereof) against the picture-perfect images presented by jewelers, candy makers and Hallmark cards. But take heart: whether you’re searching for someone to share your box of chocolates with or unabashedly disposing of the whole box yourself, BookPage has found the advice book for you.

Looking for love Mr. Right, Right Now!: How a Smart Woman Can Land Her Dream Man in 6 Weeks (HarperResource, $23.95, 208 pages, ISBN 0060530286), by E. Jean Carroll, takes a proactive, humorous approach to capturing (and captivating) a great guy in short order. Carroll has written an advice column for Elle magazine for more than 10 years and is the co-founder of the highly trafficked site, GreatBoyfriends.com. (There’s an accompanying GreatGirlfriends.com men walk on Lonely Street too!) This man mogul candidly explains how to use your innate feminine wiles to make first encounters memorable, learn to ask men out and otherwise “mop up the floor with men.” She starts with a program designed to get a woman feeling and looking her best because, as she points out in Man Catching Law #4: “Delight in Your Own Attractions, and You Will Attract.” And getting to that mutual attraction, that “synchronizing,” is the name of the game. Carroll’s advice will get you out of the unproductive (and boring) practice of man-searching in grocery stores and take you to where the men really are. She lists hockey rinks, the Belmont Stakes, yacht clubs, marinas and film festivals among the many places where meeting Mr. Right would be more amenable than experiencing the magic “clicking” moment over wilted spinach in a produce aisle. Besides, think of all the fun you’ll have! Together forever If you found your Mr. Right a while back, married him, and are now wondering where in tarnation toleration went, let alone magic, Lasting Love: The 5 Secrets of Growing a Vital, Conscious Relationship, by Gay Hendricks, Ph.

D. and Kathlyn Hendricks, Ph.

D. can help breathe new life into your long-term relationship. The married authors readily admit to being their own “best customers, as any relationship experts should be.” The Hendricks have discovered that although couples may have different surface issues, such as arguing over sex or money, the underlying source usually boils down to problems in one or more of five distinct areas: commitment, emotional transparency (the ability to clearly identify and state one’s feelings), sharing responsibility, creative individuation (expressing your own creativity on a regular basis), and appreciation (feeling it and communicating it). While this is a couples book, if you are currently between relationships or wondering how to make love last beyond the initial blind infatuation stage next time, Lasting Love can arm you with romantic insights and relationship savvy for the next go ’round. For satisfied singles Finally, Quirkyalone: A Manifesto for Uncompromising Romantics (HarperSanFrancisco, $19.95, 176 pages, ISBN 006057898X), by Sasha Cagen, fills a niche that has long gone unrecognized a relationship book for singles! Cagen defines a “quirkyalone” as “a person who enjoys being single (but is not opposed to being in a relationship), and generally prefers to be alone rather than date for the sake of being in a couple.” A famous example of a quirkyalone would be Katharine Hepburn despite her strong feelings for long-time love and fellow actor Spencer Tracy, she never wanted to marry him. Cagen claims that QAs are “romantic, wistful, idealist, and independent.” She explains that many quirkyalones enjoy “the surplus energy for work and friends, and the exhilarating feeling of waking up unfettered” that comes with “singledom.” If this sounds like you, you may be quirky (i.e. “distinctive; unintentionally different; without artifice”) and alone (i.e. “apart from others, uncoupled”) but you are not alone. Cagen’s book offers numerous testimonies from happy QAs, mainly female, but male as well, and contains a chapter on being “quirkytogether” which explains how QAs can and often do, find each other.

It’s Valentine’s Day again, and men and women alike are measuring their relationships (or lack thereof) against the picture-perfect images presented by jewelers, candy makers and Hallmark cards. But take heart: whether you’re searching for someone to share your box of chocolates with or unabashedly disposing of the whole box yourself, BookPage has found the […]
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Languishing in a cynical "poor me" mode and unable to move forward after a painful relationship meltdown, I was looking forward to my latest book review assignment: self-help books for the new year. When a package from BookPage arrived on my doorstep, I had to laugh when I pulled the first book out of the box and read its title: If the Horse Is Dead, Get Off! This just might be the jump-start I needed. I soon discovered that Judith Sills' new book, If the Horse is Dead, Get Off!: Creating Change When You're Stuck in Your Comfort Zone is a must-have motivational tool for anyone striving for personal change. As Sills points out, your comfort zone may be anything but comfortable, but because it is so familiar, even if it contains negative or destructive elements, it feels safe and secure and is therefore difficult to move beyond. Sills identifies seven steps that are necessary to "stretch across your fear" and "reach your desire": Face What Hurts, Create a Vision, Make a Decision, Identify Your Pattern, Let Go, Face Your Fear and Take Action.

Chapters detail how to take these important steps, and there is plenty of additional sage advice on topics like ambivalence and eliminating blame. I devoured every word and eagerly reached for the next book, Naomi's Breakthrough Guide: 20 Choices to Transform Your Life. Like its author, country music star Naomi Judd, this book is an upbeat powerhouse. No tears in the beer here just solid lemonade-out-of-lemons wit and wisdom from a woman whose life and career is testimony to the power of her approach. A struggling single mother with two young daughters, she arrived in Nashville in 1979. "At age thirty-seven," she recounts, "I turned Wy's and my preposterous fantasy of becoming recording artists into reality. In my forties and fifties, I've proven medical authorities wrong after they coldly handed me a death sentence because of hepatitis C. Today I'm radiantly happier and healthier than ever." Judd shares the lessons she has learned, the sources of her strength and the attitude adjustments necessary to achieve what she considers the ultimate goal not fame or fortune, but peace of mind.

Naomi Judd is definitely what Paul Pearsall would term a "thriver." In his book, The Beethoven Factor: The New Psychology of Hardiness, Happiness, Healing and Hope, Pearsall defines thriving as "not only rising to the occasion but being raised by it." Pearsall, himself a cancer survivor, coined the phrase "the Beethoven Factor" to describe the concept. Anguished over the loss of his hearing, Beethoven nevertheless went on to compose some of the world's most joyful and beautiful music. Like Beethoven, many thrivers continue to have dark days a happy-go-lucky attitude is not a prerequisite. In fact, Pearsall makes the following observations: "Thrivers aren't always energetically outgoing," "Thrivers can get very down on their way up," and "Thrivers can seem pretty weird." (I took heart from this!) Pearsall relays the stories of numerous thrivers for inspiration and provides "A Thriver's Manual" for help in moving beyond recovering or surviving to fully re-embracing and re-engaging life.

Finally, The Mind of the Soul: Responsible Choice, by Gary Zukav and Linda Francis, examines the importance of taking personal responsibility for the choices you make. "You can visualize, meditate and pray," Zukav and Francis caution, "but until you are willing to assume responsibility for what you create, you cannot grow spiritually." The authors contend that your choices can foster alignment between your personality and soul, creating positive consequences and ultimately, helping to make the world a better place. Constructed like a workbook, The Mind of the Soul contains numerous thought-provoking, soul-searching exercises.

You may not need all four of these books to get yourself off a dead horse, thrive to new heights or grow spiritually, but I know it helped me to hear some of the same messages, in different ways, from different voices. I may be thick, but I'm also on my feet, optimistic and moving forward!

Linda Stankard writes from Nanuet, New York.

Languishing in a cynical "poor me" mode and unable to move forward after a painful relationship meltdown, I was looking forward to my latest book review assignment: self-help books for the new year. When a package from BookPage arrived on my doorstep, I had to laugh when I pulled the first book out of the […]
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What is love? We look for it, long for it, lose it and anxiously chase after it again. We ought to know its definition, but just when we think we’ve pinned it down, it changes.

I read my “artistic” definition of love to my straightforward friend Elaine: “Being in love is like being in a hot tub out in the snow. While you’re in it, the world is wonderful it’s magic! But outside of it, the world is cold and cruel, and all you can think of is how to get back into that warmth and wonder.” “That’s nice,” Elaine said. (Meaning “nonsense.”) “But I’d say, ÔLove is like the flu: It strikes suddenly, knocks you off your feet, and before you know it lands you in bed.'” Same difference.

Whether or not February 14th finds you basking in love’s warmth or out in the cold, we’ve found a collection of new books sure to sweeten your romantic outlook. A good place to start is with something familiar. Truly Mars &and Venus: The Illustrated Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus, by John Gray, Ph.

D., (HarperCollins, $19.95, 160 pages, ISBN 0060085657) celebrates the 10th anniversary of the best-selling book that coined a concept which is now part of our collective mindset that men and women are so different it’s as if they originated from different planets. One difference, for example, is the way they handle stress. Martians (men) deal with it by going alone into their “caves” to sort things out, whereas Venusians (women) de-stress by openly talking about their problems. Unless you’re from another solar system, the gentle humor and pointed truths in this illustrated gift book are sure to lead toward better communication and more fun on Valentine’s Day.

Of course, to understand members of the opposite sex you need to have one around. If you’re caught in the revolving door of half-baked romances and long to find a solid, loving relationship, Ronda Britten’s Fearless Loving: 8 Simple Truths That Will Change the Way You Date, Mate, and Relate is a must-have resource. The author of Fearless Living and the founder of the Fearless Living Institute, Britten says that to conquer fear, you must be willing to make changes in yourself. “The pain you suffer in relationships is a direct result of staying faithful to your fears and to a past that no longer serves you . . . you must be willing to see things differently and make new choices and take new actions.” Along with her simple truths, (among them: “Love is up to you” and “Chemistry is between your ears”) Britten offers plenty of fear-busting exercises to move you forward on the path toward a more loving and loveable you.

Nothing says “love” (“aside from diamonds,” Elaine says) better than poetry, and two charming new volumes would make great gifts: The 100 Best Love Poems of All Time, edited by Leslie Pockell, (Warner, $11.95, ISBN 0446690228) and Kiss Off: Poems to Set You Free , edited by Mary D. Esselman and Elizabeth Ash Velez (Warner, $14.95, ISBN 0446690287). The 100 Best Love Poems features everything from timeless classics like Shakespeare’s “Shall I Compare Thee to a Summer’s Day?” to modern pieces like Donald Hall’s zany “Valentine.” If you or someone you know is recovering from love gone wrong, Kiss Off might be a more appropriate choice. Designed to help the wounded move beyond heartbreak and regain strength and confidence, the poems are divided into sections such as Hurting: When Things Fall Apart, Hiding: When You Shut Down, and Believing: When You Stay Strong.

Then again, maybe your love life just needs a little TLC. If you’re hoping to catch the “love bug,” Chicken Soup for the Romantic Soul: Inspirational Stories about Love and Romance (HCI Books, $12.95, ISBN 0757300421) could be just the comfort food you and your Valentine need. This collection of heart-warming real-life stories reminds us that love, in all its many forms and by any other name, is part of all our stories, from the time we are young until “death do us part.” Whether written by celebrities, professional humorists, or Chicken Soup readers, this compilation creates an uplifting and inspiring collage, sure to evoke some tears along with the smiles. There is enough romantic wit and wisdom tucked inside these books to impassion the dullest Romeo or warm up the coolest Juliet. Make up your own definition of love, and inscribe it, lovingly, in the dust jacket of your personalized Valentine gift!

What is love? We look for it, long for it, lose it and anxiously chase after it again. We ought to know its definition, but just when we think we’ve pinned it down, it changes. I read my “artistic” definition of love to my straightforward friend Elaine: “Being in love is like being in a […]
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Silas House has done it again. As he did in his stunning debut novel, Clay's Quilt, he has written a rich narrative that captures both the scenery of the southern Appalachian mountains and the spirit of the people who live there.

A Parchment of Leaves is told mainly in first person by Vine, a bewitchingly beautiful Cherokee woman who has already inspired suspicion and jealousy among the whites. As her mother brushes out her daughter's long, dark hair she re-tells the story Vine has heard many times before but never tires of hearing the story of the summer day her great-grandmother, Lucinda, was saved from capture by the white Army while she was out picking blackberries.

While the little girl concentrates on filling her basket, the soldiers approach on horseback, but just as Lucinda is about to be discovered, she is whisked back into the brush to safety. Lucinda is just a little girl at the time, but eight years later, she marries her rescuer. The exceptional bonding between the rescuer and the rescued is echoed when Vine saves the life of a young boy, Aaron, who has been bitten by a copperhead. She falls in love with Aaron's older brother, Saul, and agrees to marry him. Vine's mother, who hasn't forgotten the trespasses against her people by the whites, is filled with a sense of foreboding when she hears of Vine's plans to marry a white man.

As the years pass and it becomes increasingly clear that Vine's brother-in-law, Aaron, is obsessed with her, the sense of foreboding intensifies. And with Vine's husband gone for months at a time to a logging camp, she must fight to save her marriage.

A native of Kentucky, where his family has lived for generations, House masterfully combines what he knows from his own experience and what he expostulates from the diary of his own great-grandmother, who was Cherokee. He continues to write with surety and the knack for telling detail of one who has absorbed the accumulated lore, legend and wisdom of his kinfolk.

 

Linda Stankard writes from upstate New York.

Silas House has done it again. As he did in his stunning debut novel, Clay's Quilt, he has written a rich narrative that captures both the scenery of the southern Appalachian mountains and the spirit of the people who live there. A Parchment of Leaves is told mainly in first person by Vine, a bewitchingly […]
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"These poems need to be released from their cages." With these words the eminent poet Robert Bly beseeched Coleman Barks, then a teacher of 20th-century American poetry, to take on the task of rescuing Rumi’s poetry from obscurity and allowing the music of this 13th century Afghan mystic to play its ancient melody for the American ear. That was in 1976. "I had never even heard Rumi’s name until then," Barks recalls, but he took on the task, working with translations from the Persian by John Moyne, A.J. Arberry and Reynold Nicholson to produce The Essential Rumi in 1995. This collection of Jelaluddin Rumi’s ecstatic outpourings, rendered in free verse, proved that the American ear was not only receptive to Rumi’s poetry, but also eager for it. Sales of The Essential Rumi exceeded 200,000 copies, subsequent translations flew off the shelves, and today, Rumi is considered by many to be the most popular poet in the United States and Barks his finest interpreter. His latest volume, Rumi: The Book of Love, comes out in time for Valentine’s Day, but contains a warning from Barks in its preface: "This is not Norman Vincent Peale urging cheerfulness, conventional morality, and soft-focus, white-light feel-good, nor is this New Age tantric energy exchange. This is giving your life to the one within you know as Lord, which is a totally private matter."

Private or not, the public seems to have an insatiable appetite for Rumi’s wisdom à la Coleman Barks’ interpretation.

Barks talked to BookPage by phone on a brisk winter night from his home in Athens, Georgia, discussing his choice of using American free verse in his translations. A notable poet in his own right (Gourdseed, Tentmaking), Barks explained, "I moved away from the densely rhymed technique of Persian poetry in the 13th century, which I felt would sound like gibberish and put Rumi more into the Whitman, Galway Kinnell genre loose, colloquial, delicate a more American style." But an instinctively prudent choice of style is not enough to account for making Barks Rumi’s foremost translator. Barks admits that "some attunement must be there" in order to do justice in a translation. Still, he is reluctant to claim any special insight, let alone a mystical connection to the poet.

"The only credential I have for working on Rumi’s poetry," Barks says humbly in his smooth Southern voice, "is my meeting with Bawa Muhaiyaddeen. That relationship is the only access I have to what is going on in Rumi’s poetry." For almost a decade, Barks visited Bawa Muhaiyaddeen, a Sufi master and Barks’ "teacher" several months each year at a fellowship in Philadelphia. "Think back to an influential teacher you had in college," he says, trying to convey Muhaiyaddeen’s impact on him. "You may not remember particular things they said about the French Revolution, but his presence, his whole delight in intellect may be the essence of what you might remember. I used to go up to my teacher and say, I don’t want to ask you a question I just want to sit here.’ It’s being in that presence it’s a grand relaxation."

There is an unmistakable resemblance between Barks’ connection with Bawa Muhaiyaddeen and Rumi’s with Shams of Tabriz, his teacher/student and Beloved Friend, with whom he converses throughout much of his poetry. Rumi is said to have recognized Shams as an enlightened being right away and the two of them spent months together in retreat. Likewise, Barks also felt an instant affinity upon meeting his Sri Lankan mentor for the first time in 1978. But what basis is there for such instant recognition? "Well, the Sufis say that’s God sweetest secret," he says, laughing gently. "The way lovers recognize each other, or the way friends do. It may be that something in us recognizes something in them something that recognizes the depth, the harmony, in another human being." His voice falls soft and serious. "It’s a great gift to find some of those people."

Meandering in a wide arc around the idea of "dialogue," Barks continued, "Rumi teaches the opening heart. Rumi says that whatever was said to the rose was said to me here in my chest. The implication being that for something to open into its own beauty and handsomeness, it has to be talked to. And so that idea of a human being as a dialogue maybe an inaudible dialogue is part of his model for what a human being is. He says we are a conversation between the one who takes bodily form and something else that is flowing through that was never born and doesn’t die. So that intersection, that conversation is what a human being is. I just love that, because it’s like we’re both parts of the synapse."

Outside the philosophical, metaphysical realm, Barks enjoys simple, down-to-earth pleasures like spending time with his grandchildren (granddaughter Briny is a budding writer), taking in a hometown parade, writing and stonework. "I’ve always wanted to blend writing and stonework," Barks admits, and now that he’s retired after more 30 years of teaching at the University of Georgia, he is able to. "My ideal day is when I go back and forth between the two. But poetry is my most faithful practice. That’s what I’m good at." He pauses for a moment, considering what gives him happiness. "You know, Rumi says just being in a form and sentient is cause for rapture. It’s what children know. I’m going to see this small town parade tonight and they all know for that moment that this is enough. Rumi feels the rapture of just being in a shape and just being here and he also feels the grief and separation of that. So there’s a double music the grief and the joy the double music of existence."

Having spent years "listening" to that double music and trying to bring it to American ears, there must be a thing or two Coleman Barks would like to say if the barriers of time and space were overcome and Rumi should suddenly materialize in front of him. He laughs at this notion and then remembers something. "I had a dream once where I saw Rumi coming in a door and everybody was so glad to see him that he disappeared into everyone. You couldn’t find him he was in everybody’s gladness to see him. So I think that’s what I’d do. Enjoy his presence." There’s a pause. "And I would apologize to him for distortions I’m bound to make of him."

Distortions, whether in spite of or because of Rumi’s philosophy that "Love is the religion and the universe is the book" might seem inevitable given today’s political climate and the vastly different cultures being asked to understand these works. "Rumi said that if you think there is an important difference between a Muslim and a Jew, a Christian and a Buddhist and all the rest, then you are making a division between your heart which you love with and how you act in the world. That’s a pretty radical thing to be saying in the 13th century and even now! I think the fact that, in Afghanistan, Rumi is the most heard poet on the radio while at the same time being probably the best-selling poet in America, shows that these two cultures meet somewhere in the heart."

Now, wouldn’t that be a valentine to the world?

 

"These poems need to be released from their cages." With these words the eminent poet Robert Bly beseeched Coleman Barks, then a teacher of 20th-century American poetry, to take on the task of rescuing Rumi’s poetry from obscurity and allowing the music of this 13th century Afghan mystic to play its ancient melody for the […]
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Bibliophile Paul Collins finds a town that shares his passion If you’re reading this, you probably love books to one degree or another. For Paul Collins, author of Sixpence House: Lost in a Town of Books, that love is taken to the nth degree. His passion for all things biblio led him to Hay-on-Wye, a small Welsh village on the Britain/Wales border with only 1,500 inhabitants and 40 antiquarian bookstores. “There are easily several million books secreted away in these stores,” Collins explains, “and in outlying barns around the town; thousands of books for every man, woman, child and sheepdog.” Leaving behind a comfortable cosmopolitan existence in San Francisco, Collins traveled with his wife Jennifer and their young son, Morgan, “across the pond” to buy a house, settle in the country and make “The Town of Books” their home. Sixpence House is the result of that journey, but it is more than a delightful travelogue of the family’s adventure. It is the story of books themselves: how they get written, read, or not read, how they come into print and fall out of print, how they are made and how they are destroyed. And, last but not least, it is the story of how a young couple, their child in tow, became brave enough to follow their dreams. “I’ve always wanted to write,” Collins says happily. “Ever since I was a kid, that’s what I wanted to do, and I’m getting to do it. It’s wonderful.” Making life even more wonderful is a wife who has also been bitten by the book bug. “Jennifer is a painter,” Paul explains, “but she writes as well. She’s just finished a young adult book and is now to the point of looking for an agent.” While a quaint, obscure little village crammed to the rooftops with books might seem the perfect place for a couple of artistic wordsmiths, the idyllic setting proves to be a difficult place to buy that “perfect” home. First of all, the buildings in Hay-on-Wye are old, and secondly, determining the condition of a home for sale is up to the buyer. This compels them to commission, and pay for, an engineering survey for any house they seriously consider purchasing. “In America, you can pretty much house hunt for free until you get to the point of signing on the dotted line,” Collins notes, “but in Britain and Wales it gets very expensive very quickly.” Tagging along from an armchair on this side of the pond, however, is great fun for the reader: “Heavy oak floorboards creak beneath our feet,” Collins writes, “immediately to our left is a dark and crowded stairwell. This is a weighty structure, the sort of moany old house under constant compression by the very years themselves; it is not airy.” Collins describes the kitchen of this particular house with his characteristic tongue-in-cheek humor as “distinctly of 1950 vintage; you half expect an Angry Young Man with a Yorkshire accent to step out and start yelling about working down in the bloody mines.” In storybook fashion, as their money supply dwindles Collins gets a job working for the self-proclaimed “King of Hay,” a man named Richard Booth, a book dealer and the owner of Hay Castle where Collins finds himself employed to sort through a veritable realm of books. The task is daunting, but the job does allow him to pursue one of his favorite pastimes: meandering from one idea to another. “I’m always going off on tangents,” he admits. “I see something and I go, ‘Oh, that looks interesting,’ and in the process of tracking one story I end up finding five others. So I’m never lacking for material. But because of that, I have a hard time imagining myself writing a strictly single subject book. I’ve decided that’s not what my talent is in. It’s more in throwing myself out there in several directions and hoping that other people will find it interesting as well.” His first book, Banvard’s Folly: Thirteen People Who Didn’t Change the World, capitalized on that same talent. “I guess I have a short attention span,” he says, laughing. “Any one of those 13 people could have warranted a book, but I’d rather write about the 13 and let someone else write about one particular person.” This meandering method works well for Sixpence House. It allows the author to wander off the path, stopping for an anecdote here, a poignant moment there; it allows him time to dust off a book for us, and let us glimpse the ideas and emotions of someone long-forgotten, their words, held in ink, still able to move our minds and hearts; it allows him to tell us stories within his story and to make a quiet, but undeniable statement about the power, the endurance, and the magic of books. But how does a bibliophile feel about computers? “I think computers are a blessing and a headache,” Collins says. “I use computers and databases a lot in my historical research. They’re a tremendous tool, but on the other hand, you have to know what you’re looking for in the first place. And they’re a very unstable medium.” But with Sixpence House written and another book in the works, Paul Collins feels good about the future of his obsession and his livelihood. “Paper lasts for hundreds of years,” he says confidently. “I think books are here to stay. Not only do they have an aesthetic pleasure to them, they’re cheap, they’re portable, and they last a long time.” That should make any lover of books sleep a little more soundly tonight! Linda Stankard is a writer in New York.

Bibliophile Paul Collins finds a town that shares his passion If you’re reading this, you probably love books to one degree or another. For Paul Collins, author of Sixpence House: Lost in a Town of Books, that love is taken to the nth degree. His passion for all things biblio led him to Hay-on-Wye, a […]
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There are stories hidden in the hills and hollers of Appalachia, and you can find them if you do your homework. Sharyn McCrumb is just the author to unearth the facts, sprinkle them with a little mountain magic and bring them to life in her fiction. McCrumb’s latest book, Ghost Riders, continues the immensely popular ballad novel series for which she is best known. Set in the Appalachian Mountain region of North Carolina and Tennessee, the books are inspired, or perhaps more accurately fortified, by musical soundtracks she compiles herself before beginning the writing process.

"When I’m developing a character," she explains in a telephone interview, "one of the things I ask myself is what music does this person listen to? I have a theory that people who listen to Eminem, for example, and people who listen to Bach probably don’t have the same speech patterns, or even the same cadences. So while I’m working on a particular scene, I listen to music that the character would listen to. I use a lot of Irish music: harp, hammered dulcimer, fiddle tunes. I try to get into their heads via the music."

During her tours and readings for the previous ballad books (which include The Songcatcher, The Rosewood Casket, The Ballad of Frankie Silver, and If Ever I Return, Pretty Peggy-O) McCrumb noticed that people outside the Appalachian region, even great fans of her novels, were not familiar with the music that was tied to them. "I realized that some people didn’t even recognize the song reference in some of the titles, so I devised a program with a folk singer, Jack Hinshelwood. He’s an award-winning bluegrass musician, and he often tours with me now. I do readings from a novel and he does the songs and music related to it."

Aside from collecting the "character music" and completing the actual writing, McCrumb also does an abundance of historical and geological research for her books, particularly with a novel like Ghost Riders that takes place largely during the Civil War. "I spent four years doing research for this book," McCrumb points out, "because even though it’s fiction I had to understand politically what was happening."

Since Ghost Riders uses present-day Civil War re-enactment as a vehicle for the historical part of the story, McCrumb had to make the re-enactment scenes authentic, as well. There are many Civil War buffs, historians and re-enactors who would be unforgiving about a slip-up. "You see," she says, "they take it very seriously why, the color of the horse could be a three-day debate so you really have to do your homework." (The mother of teenagers, McCrumb probably gets a lot of mileage out of that advice.)

The two characters who really come alive in the novel are Zebulon Vance, North Carolina’s Civil War governor, and Malinda "Sam" Blaylock, historical figures McCrumb says she chose because she not only "really wanted to tell both sides," but because she wanted to show the difficulties in choosing any side. "Prior to the firing on Fort Sumter, Governor Vance had been going all over the mountains begging people not to leave the Union, but when his state pulled out, he felt he had no choice but to go with her, so he was kind of forced into it. I thought he was perfect to tell the Confederate side."

Malinda is the wife of Keith Blaylock. She cuts her hair, straps down her bosom and takes off to join the Union army after her husband enlists (despite his own misgivings about the side he chooses) to "look after him." With characters as colorful as this, a story as potent as the Civil War and a writer as competent as McCrumb, who would argue with the odd inaccuracy? But as she writes in her Author’s Note at the end of Ghost Riders, the nitpickers are out there. "My personal favorite so far was the Texas gentleman who tried to tell me how they pronounce Arrowood in east Tennessee, unaware that Arrowood was the name of my east Tennessee grandparents." Oops. He should have done his homework.

"I grew up with this whole idea of narrative connected to song," McCrumb says, describing her childhood in the Appalachian region. "We would be making the several hours’ journey to see one set of grandparents or the other and my father would tell me stories. But he would also sing, and the songs that he liked tended to be short stories set to music, like the ballads."

McCrumb now lives on 80 acres in the Virginia Blue Ridge, less than 100 miles from where her great-grandparents settled in 1790. "We have a pen full of ducklings and geese we’ve raised for the last eight weeks that are due to go out on the pond soon," she says enthusiastically. "We get them from a nearby hatchery when they are just three days old. They arrive looking like dandelions. [She pronounces it "dandy-lions."] But I love to sit on the bank and watch them gliding along; it’s my tranquilizer." Of course, McCrumb does a lot more than watch the ducks swim and daydream. "I try to write between 500 and 1,000 words a day," she says of her writing schedule, "depending on how hard it is, and where I am in the book."

As the mother of teenagers, she chooses to work late at night, starting around 11 p.m. "because then it’s dark and quiet, and I can focus more. Then the next night I spend the first half hour reading over the work from the day before and revising. That gets me back in the mood I remember the tone and direction of the narrative and I move on from there."

 

There are stories hidden in the hills and hollers of Appalachia, and you can find them if you do your homework. Sharyn McCrumb is just the author to unearth the facts, sprinkle them with a little mountain magic and bring them to life in her fiction. McCrumb’s latest book, Ghost Riders, continues the immensely popular […]
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Novelist Robert Morgan focuses on the nation’s first war Rape, murder, disguise, deception the opening pages of Robert Morgan’s new novel, Brave Enemies, have all the elements of a modern-day thriller. But this gripping story actually takes place during the American Revolution, an era when neighbor suspected neighbor and the “wrong” sympathies, whether actual or perceived, could deliver your neck to a noose in short order.

Running for her life from dire circumstances at home, 16-year-old Josie Summers cuts her hair, dresses in men’s clothing and leaves behind the small world of her family farm in the Carolinas. Rushing headlong into a wider world with grave dangers, Josie eventually finds herself in the midst of the crucial Battle of Cowpens.

“I first heard about the Battle of Cowpens from my father,” Morgan says, explaining how the initial seed for the novel was planted years before it grew to fruition. “He was a great storyteller, and I was, of course, intensely interested in the Revolutionary battles fought in the South, being a North Carolina native. And this battle, one in which a smaller, less equipped force defeats a larger one, was fascinating in technical terms.” The original pages of the battle story that would evolve into Brave Enemies sat idle, tucked away for more than 10 years. “I had to put it aside,” he explains, “because even though I knew the events surrounding Cowpens, I didn’t know many of the details that would come later after much research.” Research is key for Morgan, who is known for bringing history to life in his meticulously detailed fiction. In such novels as The Hinterlands, Gap Creek (an Oprah Book Club selection) and This Rock, he has skillfully portrayed the lives of Appalachian mountain people, from 18th century pioneers to 20th century bootleggers.

BookPage interviewed Morgan by telephone from his office at Cornell University, where he has taught for 36 years. “As we speak, I can see cornfields,” he says. “But, ironically, it was here at Cornell that I became a student of my own heritage. I’ve spent many hours in the library studying Appalachia its history, dialects, religions and so forth.” First acclaimed as a poet, Morgan explains that his prose writing style is the result of studied effort. “When I went back to fiction writing about 20 years ago, I was determined that I would not write poetic prose, descriptive and static, but dynamic, dramatic, narrative prose with a plot and tension and character development,” he says. With the American Revolution as its backdrop, an anguished love story at its core and the Battle of Cowpens at its culmination, Brave Enemies is anything but static. The novel began to take shape once Morgan found the fictional narrative voices that would propel the story and give it immediacy and intimacy.

Josie’s voice came first. “I wrote two versions of Brave Enemies that were more in dialect (very much like Gap Creek) but I wasn’t satisfied,” Morgan recalls. “I wanted readers to be intimate with Josie, yet not be conscious of the language, so I decided on a plain, simple style. I wanted the language to be virtually transparent.” And it is Josie, posing as “Joseph,” who carries the story and captures our hearts as she falls in love with John Trethman, a traveling Methodist minister who takes her in. Finding herself simultaneously awakened to a new spirituality and a new sexuality, she winds up tramping through the woods as part of the North Carolina militia and ultimately fighting for her life in a battle that would be pivotal to the birth of a new nation.

The voice of John Trethman, struggling with his own human frailties while trying to minister to others, is also critical. “To my mind,” Morgan says, “the real subject of the story is the moral ambiguity of the era. It was very hard to decide what was right. Keep in mind that if you were a British subject, it was your duty to be loyal to the Crown and obey the laws of England and the teachings of the Church of England. John’s character enabled me to see and portray both sides.” Ardent in his mission to bring “hymnody and prayer and the spirit of forgiveness” to his congregations in the backcountry, and determined to remain a pacifist, John is also ultimately caught in the whirlwind of revolution. When he discovers “Joseph” is a girl, he is at once appalled at her deception and the power of his own desires. At first wracked with guilt, he eventually succumbs to the greater power of love, only to be brutally torn away from Josie and forced into serving as a minister to the British army. Camped on opposite sides, Josie and John are forced to witness the clash of loyalties that would change the course of history.

Morgan isn’t the only well-known author to tackle a fictional story with a Revolutionary setting. Former president Jimmy Carter has also written a Revolutionary War novel The Hornet’s Nest which is due for release next month. “As a matter of fact,” Morgan told us, “I just got back from Plains, Georgia, where I met with Mr. Carter to discuss his new book. Isn’t he amazing?” Morgan declares with evident admiration. “With all his diplomatic work and work for Habitat for Humanity he still found time to write a work of fiction!” His meeting with Carter led Morgan to discover that their books complement one another. “You know, America has sort of been obsessed with the Civil War. [Carter and I] both had a desire to give this incredible conflict, when the country was really born, more literary exposure, and to look at the Revolutionary War through a more Southern lens.” Moral ambiguity may have plagued the colonies but there’s no uncertainty about the drama of the era. Morgan succeeds in delivering both a riveting story of romance and a testament to the notion that in any honorable conflict, both sides can be hailed by the term “brave enemies.”

Novelist Robert Morgan focuses on the nation’s first war Rape, murder, disguise, deception the opening pages of Robert Morgan’s new novel, Brave Enemies, have all the elements of a modern-day thriller. But this gripping story actually takes place during the American Revolution, an era when neighbor suspected neighbor and the “wrong” sympathies, whether actual or […]

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