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Review by Michael Pastor
How does a family thrive?
In "The 7 Habits of Highly Effective Families," Steven Covey -- a best-selling author and a father of nine -- shares with us his strategies for creating a family in the best sense of the word: a family that thrives on teamwork, caring relationships, joy in being together and mutual respect. Covey compares his slow-and-steady approach with the mystery of the Chinese bamboo tree. The first four years of the tree's life, while the roots are spreading underground, only a tiny shoot sprouts from the bulb. Then, the author tells us: "in the fifth year the Chinese bamboo tree grows up to eighty feet!"
The most striking aspect of "7 Habits" -- what distinguishes it from countless other books on the same theme -- is the series of vignettes about families in crises, all drawn from real life. Each of these miniature stories features one parent who discovered the wisdom and the strength to change. Each tale is emotionally moving, and teaches one of Covey's most significant ideas: in every family situation, no matter how difficult, there is always hope that things can radically improve.
Why are these ideas so powerful? Covey contends that his ideas are grounded in basic principles that touch the core of our human nature. Ignore these principles and families deteriorate; follow these principles and families flourish. First and most important of these principles is to "Be Proactive." Instead of reacting with anger or threats, Covey illustrates how to cultivate a "pause button" so we can stop and think, then choose the way we deeply want to respond.
More than once, Covey expresses concern about the ways that our modern high-tech lives disturb the natural rhythms of family life. Excessive television watching is one of the greatest obstacles to healthy family interaction. Covey encourages readers to watch less TV, and instead, for 15 minutes every day, to share with the family some thought-provoking words from the world's great books.
Each chapter concludes with discussion topics and activities that teach and reinforce the central themes. The book, says Covey, is designed to be shared with each member of the family. Filled with sound principles, words from the wise and gripping personal slices of life, "7 Habits" should strike a chord in every family's heart. Every family -- happy or struggling or anywhere in between -- will be educated by the positive models and invaluable advice inside this inspired book.
Michael Pastor's latest book, "You're Ugly and Your Mother Dresses You Funny," will be published this month by Zorba Press.
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