SEPTEMBER 1996
Haven't heard from your favorite author in a while? Curious to know if another book is on the way? Send us a note (email and snail mail address below) and we'll see what we can find out for you. Each month the BookPage Burning Questions staff goes to the ends of the Earth and back again to find the answers to our readers' most burning questions. The answers are printed each month, both online as well as in our print edition. Go ahead, try to stump us!
BURNING QUESTIONS Update
Contrary to last month's BQ update, we did finally make it to the Olympics after all, staying at the apartment with no furniture. We had many an Olympic moment, especially during that basketball game pitting China against Croatia. Go Kukoc! Our greatest Olympic moment, however, was in the Coca-Cola Official Pin Trading Center, where we wrested a Lillehammer pin from a kind Norwegian fellow. Don't even ask us how we ended up with a highly desirable UPS Worldwide Sponsor pin; desperation breeds poor behavior.
Speaking of winners, we have quite a few this month, culled from the numerous entries we received for our Name It Anything First Novel Contest.
If you're joining us late, we asked readers for the title of the first novel they hadn't gotten around to writing yet. Entries were judged on randomness/profundity, and the five winners each receive a first novel of our choosing. Congrats to all -- and a special thanks to all the budding writers from the elementary school in Monett, Missouri.
Remember: Read these slowly. They become more meaningful that way.
And the winners are . . .
Monkey on a Stick: A Novel
debi-doodie
via the Internet
Impassable During High Water: A Novel
Trevor Patt
Monett, Missouri
The Remote Control: A Novel of Psychological Manipulation and Terror
William Springer
Troy, Ohio
Estrogen Avenue: A Novel
submitted by the Huntington Book Review Club
St. Charles, Missouri
Dancing Naked in Front of Your Pets: A Novel
Sam Solomon
New Orleans, Louisiana
Honorable mentions
All of the following get a special nod from our committee, sometimes combined with a headshake of puzzlement.
All Get-Out: A Novel
James Bernath
Littleton, Colorado
Socks in a Cardboard Box: A Novel
Lisa Ward
Church Hill, Tennessee
The Tree Climbing Dog: A Novel
Lillie Morris
Monett, Missouri
Mislabeled Videotapes: A Novel
Alyce Joines
Greensboro, NC
The Cat Box: A Novel
by Deb Stroud
Fallon, Nevada
Tag Sale Items Reclaimed: A Novel
Melody Sabine
Brattleboro, Vermont
The Fat Lady Has Left the Building
Judy Murdock
Jeanerette, Louisiana
Entries from "out there"
The UFO Comes for Susan: A Novel
Rex Winchester
San Francisco, California
The Cricket Said, "Mommy Is People": A Novel
Pat Schlaerth
Dayton, Ohio
The Fish Won't Die: A Novel
Allyson Gasso
Miami Lakes, Florida
Pitch it as a song title, and
you've got it made
Abilene by Lunch
Tony Tin
San Francisco, CA
Whoa, man, like . . .
Title: A Novel
Joy Falk
Venice, Florida
?: A Novel
Trevor Patt
Monett, Missouri
Most likely to be used as an actual title
The Ointment of the Apothecary: A Novel
William W. Travis
Birmingham, Alabama
Greetings from Yorba Linda
While sitting in my recliner watching TV and reading your publication I looked up and my eyes stared at my parents' antique lamp that I inherited from them.
It was first used as a coal oil lamp in the early twenties and later my mother had it made into an electric lamp. It has a round bottom resting on brass with three beautiful roses painted in mauve and mint green leaves. In the middle is a hurricane bulb with a red dome around the top.
It is very beautiful and romantic. I choose the name Forgotten Rose.
Toni Haywood
Yorba Linda, California
Entry with the most National Wildlife Federation
stamps on it
The Uncontrolled Mind: A Novel
Vivian C. Anderson
Nashville, Tennessee
A subtitle offering (For our next contest? To be followed by our Best Chapter Title contest)
How the Nicholson Family Moved from Vitehek
to Philadelphia and Learned to Live There
Sara Nicholson Goldberg
Philadelphia, Pennsylvania
Didn't Ann Beattie already write this?
Ultramundane Atmospheres: A Novel
Linda K. Wendling
Spring Valley, Ohio
OK, Miss Smartypants
Antidisestablishmentarianism: A Novel
Brenda-Marie Hill
Sioux Falls, South Dakota
And finally . . .
Families of Employees Are Not Eligible to Enter: A Novel
Jonathan Shayne
Nashville, Tennessee
Fear not, Burning Questions returns next month.
Wondering why your favorite writer doesn't call, doesn't write anymore? Inquire with us, and we'll try to find out what's up: Burning Questions, 2501 21st Ave. South, Suite 5, Nashville, TN 37212. Or better yet, e-mail us at Burning_Questions@bookpage.com.
Alas, we regret that personal replies are not possible.
©1996, ProMotion, inc.
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