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Bushnell differs from other columnists of her ilk in important ways. She doesn't use actual names but monikers like "Mr. New Yorker" and "Mr. Big." Because her column is a serial, we gain richer, more complex portrayals of her characters. Bushnell will do anything to get her story, which results, in one case, in her standing in the middle of a couples-only sex club, dressed only in a towel. Most important, Bushnell possesses a bonhomie rare for this type of reporting: she engages in some good-natured ribbing of her subjects but in the end treats them with a graciousness that often seems undeserved.
Bushnell travels from museum benefits to Aspen, from book signings to the Hamptons, to follow such creatures as "International Crazy Girls," "Toxic Bachelors," and "Modelizers" (men who only date models). She considers the phenomena of serial daters, the self-imposed marriage deadline, and the curiously prevalent desire for a "threesome."
Of course, any comprehensive look at dating must include dealing with regret, and two of the collection's strongest essays do. In "Downtown Babes Meet Old Greenwich Gals," a cadre of tough, confident city women trek to suburban Connecticut for a wedding shower, returning, as Bushnell reports, "in an emotional state somewhere between giddy and destroyed."
What Bushnell terms "dating's dirty little secret" is the subject of an especially poignant column.
" 'She wasn't quite up to snuff in the looks department, and I felt shallow for thinking of her looks,' remembers Stephen. 'She was a great girl . . . I was in love with Ellen but never told her.' Walden responds, 'You know, if I closed my eyes, there was no way she didn't satisfy me in every way . . . I was in love . . . in an utterly mundane way.' " (Bushnell manages to work in, in a most satisfying way, that both of the rejected women went on to live happily ever after.)
Near the opening of Sex and the City, in an assessment of the state of romance in the '90s, Bushnell writes: "When was the last time you saw two people gazing into each other's eyes without thinking, 'Yeah, right?' " Yet, amidst all the psychos and golddiggers and lechers, Bushnell compels us to hold on and believe that our one true love is out there. And you get the feeling that she'll be right there behind us, giving us sage advice and a shoulder to lean on.
Lisa Magnino is a freelance writer in Washington, D.C., and, thankfully, is dating a wonderful man.
©1996, ProMotion, inc.