Mom, Can I Have That?

Dr. Tightwad Answers Your
Kids' Questions About Money

By Janet Bodnar

Kiplinger Times Business, $13.00
ISBN 0-8129-2754-0

Adapted with permission from Mom, Can I Have That? by Janet Bodnar (Kiplinger/Times Business) c 1996 The Kiplinger Washington Editors, Inc.

Dr. Tightwad Explains Why You Need A Snappy Comeback

When it comes to money, kids ask the darnedest questions. Parents on the receiving end find their children's queries:

Exasperating: "Mom, can I have that?"
Amusing: "How much will I get from the tooth fairy?"
Puzzling: "Why is a nickel bigger than a dime?"
Awkward: "How much money do you make?"
Embarrassing: "How come you two are always fighting about money?"

It's from family discussions about subjects like these that children will learn their most lasting lessons about the value--and the values--of money. You can't count on kids learning much about money management in school, and you donÕt want them learning from the media or from their friends. That leaves things squarely up to you. Unfortunately, kids and their questions can't be scripted. On the contrary, you can count on them catching you off guard, when you're least prepared to answer. Ill at ease or in a hurry, we've all given our kids the bum's rush at one time or another, with an abbreviated, even abrupt, response--usually along the lines of "Yes," "No," or "Maybe."

Yes, No, Maybe

In the "yes" group are parents who take the path of least resistance--or maybe they just like to spend money. "Since she's been born, I've hardly bought myself anything. I'd rather spend on her," one parent told Forbes magazine in an article titled "Babies As Dolls," about the booming market for infant clothing and equipment. Said another parent, "My kids have tons of stuff, but if they want something I just don't know how to say no." And these kids are barely old enough to ask a question. Imagine the scene when they really turn up the heat at age 8 or 13--or 21 or 35.

At the other extreme are parents who respond with a knee-jerk "no" that's commendable but ineffective. Their strong stand is undermined by a shaky foundation because they don't bother to explain why they're denying whatever it is their kids want.

In the vast middle--and we've all been there--are the wafflers, who, when put on the spot, respond with a resounding "maybe" in any of its forms: "We'll see." "I don't know." "Go ask your mother/father." "Do you think I'm made of money?" For lack of a great comeback, we take refuge in the flip response, the old cliche, the evasive answer--anything to avoid the question. And we miss a golden opportunity to teach a mini-lesson in money values. Besides, kids are people, too, and they deserve to have their questions taken seriously and answered thoughtfully.

Dr. Tightwad's Answers to Kids' Most Frequently Asked Questions about Money

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