Mom Can I Have That?

"How much money do you make?"

You're tempted to say:
"That's none of your business."

Dr. T's Rx:

Instead of dismissing the question so abruptly, it's better to go with an answer that's vague but more polite, as in "More than some families but not as much as others." That's a nicer way of not answering the question, which you shouldn't feel obliged to do. When it comes to teaching kids about money, parents have lots of responsibilities. Telling your kids how much you make isn't necessarily one of them.

For one thing, no matter how much you make, whether it's $30,000 or $130,000, grade school kids (and even high-schoolers) will have trouble putting it in perspective. It will sound like an enormous sum to your children--certainly more than enough to buy the $100 bicycle or $200 video game system they want. For another thing, you have a right to your privacy. While it's certainly desirable to talk with your kids about money (that is, after all, what this book is all about) you can't be blamed for not wanting your affairs blabbed around the neighborhood--which your kids will almost certainly do, if only in innocent conversation.

Besides, when young children ask this question chances are they don't care about the numbers anyway. They're just trying to get an idea of your relative wealth and where you stand vis-a-vis other families. They'd also be relieved if you assured them that you're not at risk of being turned out into the street.

As your kids get older you may choose to be more forthright about how much you earn. But it will make more sense to your children, and be more comfortable for you, if you put your income in the context of your expenses. Kids need to know, for example, that after taxes your take-home pay is a lot less than your actual salary. They need to know that you can't spend money on just anything because you have to cover certain fixed expenses first, such as the mortgage and the car insurance. One dad gave his teens a crash course in household finances by converting his pay into dollar bills, stacking the money on the table and inviting his kids to watch the pile dwindle as he paid the monthly bills.

Some parents have even turned over the bill-paying chores to their kids. "For several years, since Mary was 12, I have given her the bills and the checkbook and she does the rest," one mother wrote to Dr. T. "I just do a quick review and sign the checks." What many adults would find tedious Mary finds fascinating, says her mom. "From this experience she not only acquires the skill of managing a checkbook, but also gains a real sense of what it costs to run a household on a month-by-month basis."

Dr. Tightwad Explains...