Mom Can I Have That?

"How much will you pay me if I get good grades on my report card?"

You're tempted to say:
"How about $2 per 'A'?"

Dr. T's Rx:

In their heart of hearts, parents suspect that they shouldn't be rewarding their kids' academic efforts with money. But they want their children to do well in school, and if coming across with some cash will do the trick, they figure it's a small price to pay.

Bag the cash. Pay the kids a compliment, pay the tuition at the college their good grades will get them into, but don't pay them money. Buying grades, or any other good behavior, distracts kids from the sense of accomplishment that should be their real reward. Besides, it can get expensive. And if you're trying to control your children's behavior with money you're doomed to failure, because eventually they can go out and earn their own.

Dr. T does know of cases in which parents have successfully used money as compensation for grades. One dad worked out a complex set of financial incentives that rewarded his 11-year-old son for improved grades, even if they weren't As. A mom set aside time every week to go over school papers with her first-grader and paid him $1 for every 100%. But money seems to work best as a motivator when it's used in small amounts over limited periods of time; the longer you do it, the less effective it is. Your goal should be to wean kids from cash just as you eventually weaned them from treats when they learned to go to the potty.

Even in the situations noted above, factors other than money were at work. In the first case, the 11-year-old admitted that he was also influenced by a conscientious teacher who prodded him to get better grades. In the second case, Mom's interest and approval probably had as much of an effect on her son's performance as the money. Paying a compliment will buy better results than paying cash.

While promising a reward ahead of time is risky, a spontaneous blowout after the fact to celebrate a good report card is always a morale booster. Go ahead, treat your scholar to a banana split, or even dinner at the restaurant of his or her choice.

Dr. Tightwad Explains...