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Looking for love?
New books uncover the secrets of romance REVIEWS BY KATHERINE WYRICK
Love is in the air—and on the page—at this time of year. Whether you're searching for that soul mate or you've already found one, we've got a book for you. Paulette Kouffman Sherman is a dating expert and psychologist with a holistic approach to finding a mate. In her practice, she noticed that her clients' negative thoughts were actually driving away the partners they desired. Therein lies the genesis of Dating from the Inside Out: How to Use the Law of Attraction in Matters of the Heart. In this guide, Sherman claims that the pathway to an enduring, fulfilling relationship begins with "setting clear intentions for love, and learning to be the partner they wish to attract." It's no secret, Sherman insists, that if you live consciously, love will follow. Meaning, know thyself and love thyself before you ask someone else's self to do the same. Anyone who's heard of that not-so-secret book The Secret will find themselves on familiar terrain here.
By Paulette Kouffman Sherman Atria $14.95, 192 pages ISBN 9781582701943
According to Leslie Oren, top Hollywood publicist and author of Fine, I'll Go Online!, finding someone you click with might be just a click away. Internet dating is no longer considered a mysterious, shady endeavor; instead it is, in this day and age, an accepted and legitimate way to meet a mate. But there are rules in this ether-world and a certain protocol to follow. Oren intends this guide to be both entertaining and informative. If anyone knows about effective marketing, which she surmises is just what the dating game is all about, it is Oren. Here she shows readers how to create an image, "the best possible version of your authentic self," for online dating. She outlines how to write the perfect online profile, why you must post a photo, what not to write in an e-mail, why the first date should only be meeting for coffee or a drink and what constitutes online dating success. If this book had a theme song, it might be something like "Lookin' for love in all the MySpace pages . . ."
By Leslie Oren St. Martin's Griffin $13.95, 192 pages ISBN 9780312371173
There really is a guide for everything. Having survived the wilds of the dating world, you now need help navigating those early years of matrimony. In There's a Spouse in My House Peter Scott, author of Well Groomed: A Wedding Planner for What's-His-Name (And His Bride), shows us how to achieve and maintain marital bliss—well, if not bliss, at least some semblance of harmony. (If he writes a sequel, may we suggest the title There's a Crib in My Crib?) Chapter topics range from cohabitation to the challenge of staying in shape after the wedding. Scott has clearly learned a thing or two about being a good husband, judging from chapter titles such as "So, These Hand Towels are Merely Decorative and Never to Be Used, Right?" Laughter is key, the author insists, and if you need an infusion of it into your relationship, this book is a good place to start.
By Peter Scott Plume $14, 256 pages ISBN 9780452289260
Now if you really want to shed some light on those issues you've just made light of, John Gray's new book, Why Mars & Venus Collide: Improving Relationships by Understanding How Men and Women Cope Differently with Stress, is the next stop on the love train. Gray's writing career was launched into the stratosphere with the publication of the original Men Are From Mars, Women Are From Venus and the follow-up Mars/Venus books. The latest in that galaxy of bestsellers builds on Gray's previous work and examines how traditional male and female roles have evolved and how this evolution contributes to stress, which in turn affects relationships. He explores the different ways men and women approach their problems and then offers a practical program to get those planets aligned. Looking at the science of the sexes, he examines the roles testosterone and oxytocin play in our daily lives and relationships. The information therein is both thought-provoking and illuminating.
By John Gray HarperCollins $24.95, 272 pages ISBN 9780061242960
The aforementioned guides are bent on creating lasting partnerships, but, alas, not every love story is a success story. Thankfully, there's Ben Karlin, who offers us Things I've Learned from Women Who've Dumped Me, an homage to failed relationships. Karlin, best known as the former executive producer of both "The Daily Show with Jon Stewart" and "The Colbert Report," knows what's funny, possibly with the exception of Neal Pollock's off-color essay involving his cat (mee-EWWWW). Here Karlin invites some of today's greatest comedic minds, or dare we say hearts, to pontificate about heartbreak. Not sentimental or touchy-feely (unless by touchy-feely you mean actual groping), this anthology offers insights from the likes of Stephen Colbert, Andy Richter and Nick Hornby. So this year, put on that novelty tee that says "I'm with Cupid" (arrow pointing sideways), and fall in love—with a tall, dark and handsome book.
By Ben Karlin Grand Central $23.99, 224 pages ISBN 9780446580694
Pulitzer Prize-winning author Jeffrey Eugenides presents readers with his valentine to the love story in My Mistress's Sparrow Is Dead: Great Love Stories, from Chekhov to Munro. In the introduction, he writes, "When it comes to love, there are a million theories to explain it. But when it comes to love stories, things are simpler. A love story can never be about full possession. The happy marriage, the requited love, the desire that never dims—these are lucky eventualities but they aren't love stories. Love stories depend on disappointment, on unequal births and feuding families, on matrimonial boredom and at least one cold heart. Love stories, nearly without exception, give love a bad name." OK, so maybe love isn't always a bed of roses and a box of chocolates, but what kind of collection would you expect from the author of the acclaimed, offbeat novels The Virgin Suicides and Middlesex? Here, Eugenides chooses disparate stories from an eclectic group of writers, and the result makes for exceptional reading. Some of the pieces are challenging, like Robert Musil's "Tonka," others hilarious like George Saunders' "Jon." These two stories appearing in a collection together is pretty funny in itself, and it's just this sort of pairing that makes this anthology so remarkable. Eugenides also includes "How to Be an Other Woman," a piece by that master of human emotion, Lorrie Moore. Her first directive: "Meet in expensive beige raincoats, on a pea-soupy night." Written when she was a mere 24, the story already demonstrates Moore's expert ability to strike that fine balance between pathos and humor. What, you ask, does a dead bird have to do with love? The unusual title of this collection comes from a 2,000-year-old poem written by the Latin poet Catullus, who, in Eugenides' words, "did more than anyone to create the form we recognize today as the love story." Inspired, at age 15, to become a writer upon reading Catullus' work for the first time, Eugenides remains besotted with it. The titular phrase refers to the death of a pet bird belonging to Catullus' beloved, a passing the poet both mourns and celebrates. Alas, Catullus' love was doomed from the start, for his tweet-heart was already married to someone else. The title alone is intriguing enough to lure readers in, but My Mistress's Sparrow Is Dead is also a book with a cause: All proceeds from its sale benefit the free youth writing programs offered by 826 Chicago. 826 Chicago is part of the network of seven writing centers across the U.S. affiliated with 826 National, a nonprofit organization dedicated to supporting students ages 6 to 18 with their creative and expository writing skills, and to helping teachers inspire their students to write.
By Jeffrey Eugenides HarperCollins $24.95, 608 pages ISBN 9780061240379
Katherine Wyrick is a freelance writer in Little Rock.
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