BY KATHI KAMEN GOLDMARK AND SAM BARRY

The Author Enablers are here to answer your questions about writing and publishing. Together, Kathi and Sam have more than 25 years of experience in book publishing. Kathi is an author, radio producer and former publicist; Sam is a marketing manager at a major publishing company and a freelance editor. They are also proud members of the Rock Bottom Remainders, the all-author rock band founded by Kathi in 1992.

Rebuttal from our readers

Dear Author Enablers,

I just read your response to the author whose memoir is shelved in True Crime in chain stores. You said, as an aside, to have friends and family put the book in the right section when no one is looking.

I cheer the idea of taking things into our own hands. However, as an ex-Barnes & Noble general manager, I can tell you that most chain stores now have inventory look-up systems that booksellers rely on to find requested titles. Your solution would work for the casual browser, but if the customer asks for this book by its title, the bookseller won't find it and the customer will leave empty-handed.

Elaine
Location Undisclosed

Those pesky computers are ruining everything. Whatever happened to the good old days when scribes wrote in longhand, and there was only one library in Alexandria? Would it be OK to pose as an employee and hand-sell our friends' books to random shoppers? What about hiding copies of books we hate by shelving them in strange places such as self-help, or the occult section? Just kidding! But we're wondering if there's anything illegal, immoral or fattening (remember the song?) about turning our friends' books face out.

Dear Author Enablers,

I am a skilled and (I believe) talented writer. I have honed this gift and used it to further my career, writing marketing copy, brochures, press releases and articles for various trade publications. I also worked for years on several projects of my own, dreaming that someday I would be a published author. I have been represented by several agents and my work made its way to publishing houses small and large. Unfortunately, none of my manuscripts was ever purchased.

In your columns, you imply that people just need to keep on trying and they will get published. I believe that this is a misleading message. Most writers will never get published. Those who do get published are among the fortunate, and lucky, few.

Dan
Dayton, Ohio

You make a good point, Dan. It's true that there are fewer slots on the publishers' pipelines than there are writers who want to fill them. Luck, timing, world events, social trends, starring roles in movies and—yes—even good writing are factors that determine which books will be published. Our goal is not to foster false hope, but to provide down-to-earth information about a process that many find mystifying. In the end, people should engage in creative writing for one reason only: because they love to do it.

One vigilant reader takes us to task for the sage piece of advice we offered a correspondent in September: "As a private detective and a mother, we bet you know some tricks that will help . . ." Our misplaced modifier drew this response:

Dear Author Enablers,

Ugh! I guess you're not editors. Otherwise, a good response though.

Ed Ducharme
St. Pete Beach, Florida

Good catch, as we say in the writing biz (or about attractive people our friends date). We take full responsibility for our writing here at Author Enablers' world headquarters (location undisclosed), and we know just who to blame for this mistake—Lynn, our editor at BookPage. The buck stops there!

Seriously, we want to thank everyone who reads our column with such care and attention. Since we like contests, which help us to fill the word requirement for our column, we offer a challenge to our loyal readers: starting with the January 2007 issue of BookPage, the first five readers to catch an unintentional grammatical error (we promise we'll own up) in our column will receive a copy of Stranger than Fiction!, the CD featuring the song stylings of Norman Mailer, Stephen King, Amy Tan, Maya Angelou and former Secretary of Labor Robert Reich. The next five readers will receive two copies . . . no, we're just kidding. But we're serious about the "first five readers" part. If there are any questions about what constitutes proper grammar, we'll check with our good friend Bill Safire in Fresno, California.

Thanks for writing,
THE AUTHOR ENABLERS