The Nanny Diaries
By Emma McLaughlin and Nicola Kraus
St. Martin's, $24.95
ISBN 0312278586

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INTERVIEW BY STEPHANIE SWILLEY

The true story behind the new novel The Nanny Diaries might have New York's richest families cringing as they read between the lines. The two debut authors are former nannies for Manhattan's wealthiest families, and their fictionalized tale exposes the weird ways of parenting in the upper class.

"Hopefully, some families having had so many nannies over the years won't even remember us! That's our perhaps naive prayer," says Nicola Kraus, who, with co-author Emma McLaughlin, has a combined eight years of nanny experience for more than 30 Park Avenue families.

Now both 28, the ex-nannies decided to tell what it's really like to work for the New York elite after hearing complaints about "what a pain in the butt it was to find good help and all the crazy demands of nannies and how it was just such a bother," says Emma. "It really hit a nerve for both of us."

Determined to set the record straight, they channeled their pique into the tale of Nan, a 21-year-old NYU student working for Mr. and Mrs. X and their four-year-old son, Grayer. While the authors say the characters are pure fiction, the Park Avenue parents are sure to set tongues wagging with their hilariously inconsiderate, demanding behavior. With plenty of juicy material, Emma and Nicola admit they drew from their own experiences to create this wickedly funny look at life as a New York nanny.

"I was endlessly amazed by the esoteric cleaning products that I was sent all over Manhattan to fetch," says Nicola. "What that really highlighted was the bizarre priorities in the home."

At all costs, the Xes avoid the messy intimacy of parenting by scheduling every minute of Grayer's day with French lessons, ice skating and play dates with kids he's never met (all with crazy names like Darwin, Iolanthe and Elspeth). Laughing at how far these parents will go in their daft demands keeps the book comic instead of woebegone. At one point Nan notes, "I doubt I'd so much as bat an eyelash if they suggested that I load [the child] into my womb to make more room in the Land Rover."

Nicola laughs, "If they could have actually gotten you to breast-feed for them, [they would]. All these women don't want to lose their figure after they have a baby."

And the authors are quick to admit that Nan's experience is on the "easier end of typical." Most career nannies are from other countries with families of their own to care for and support. Some nannies share a bedroom with their charge, some even share a bed. "If you can think of it, it's probably happening," says Emma.

It makes you wonder why anyone would put up with such antics in real life, no matter what the salary. But instead of becoming a tiresome tirade, Nan's fictional foibles simply make you roll your eyes at the snobbery while you eagerly turn the pages for more voyeuristic thrills. In hindsight, the authors found humor in even the worst experiences.

"We'd giggle as we started to reminisce," says Nicola, "Like, remember the time I strapped the child to my back and walked through the Hudson River? Oh my God, why didn't we ever say no?"

But these ex-nannies learned to say no to one dreaded task -- the ultimate irony of the "all-expenses-paid vacation." Not for Aspen or Paris would they agree to what inevitably turned into around-the-clock slave labor.

"The giggle was everyone keeps coming up to you like you're at the Fresh Air Fund, saying, 'Oh my God, isn't this place beautiful?'" recalls Nicola of her first and last vacation experience. "You're like, Yeah, I've been thrown up on, had a drink dumped on my head, I've got ketchup in my shoe, it's freezing cold. No, this is not fun for me because I didn't just spend six hours on the deck chair."

Subsequently, when employers would ask her to accompany the family on vacation, "No matter where they said they wanted to go, [I said] 'No that's the week I'm having my kidneys out. So sorry! Would've loved to!'"

The writing duo is at work on another Nan novel, but their heroine is retiring from nannying. And like the authors themselves, she doesn't miss it at all.

"We were not jealous of anyone we worked for," says Nicola. "We envied them not a second. Not for an earring. Not for a coffee table. Possibly some of their kitchen accoutrement. They had some really nice appliances, but that was about it."